well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
