dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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