HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
