Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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