addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
