so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
