I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
foreskin is a definite game changer
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
