HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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