Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
