Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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