I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
