Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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