I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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