Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
