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I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
