Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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