508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
