tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
