My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
