i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
