OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
