Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
