and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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