Your tits are I can't wait for
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
