that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
