she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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