i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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