There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
