It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
