i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
