Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Mom said you looked used
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
