I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
