You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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