All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
