If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
