And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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