so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
