Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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