So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
