im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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