Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
