My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
