kristin has been a bad kristin
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
