it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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