you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
