Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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