literally had 100 drinks last night.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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