Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
