So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
