I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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