Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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