he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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